It's a Dog's Life - September 2018

It’s a Dog’s Life – September 2018

Keeping cool is hard work for a hot dog! Rolo the Border Terrier explains how he managed to navigate the recent heatwave.

Well, oddly enough for a country whose summers are normally marked by over-optimistic anticipation drowned in disappointing realism, we’ve actually had a spell of hot weather! This has been attended by the usual chorus of, “I like it warm, but not this warm,” and everyone rushing to buy fans and air conditioning units.

We dogs are not exempt from this concern about the weather. After all, we have to wear fur coats regardless. My apprentice, Teddy, has a heavy, double coat, whereas I have a lighter, silver version, which conveniently reflects the sun. What can I tell you, I’m a highly evolved canine. Teddy, on the other hand, has had to undergo hand-striping, which is not a dubious dance in a night-club with blacked out windows, but a process that involves pulling all the dead fur out, revealing a slim-line profile beneath.

Anyway, he’s looking rather dapper and is better suited to the prevailing climate, which is a blessing.

You can help heat-suffering canines by buying cooling mats for them to lie on, but ‘Her Indoors’ reckons our cold, tiled kitchen floor does the same job without any extra expenditure. I think she’s just being cheap-skate so Teddy and I got our revenge by lying in front of the fan so she didn’t benefit from any of the cooling air. That’ll teach her. I did think of attaching a paper fan to Teddy’s tail and then getting ‘Her Indoors’ to repeatedly tell him that he’s a good boy, but in the end the electric version seemed less effort.

You can also get doggy bandanas in absorbent material that you soak in water and which cool you down by evaporation. There have been some shameful examples on social media of people buying them for their dogs and then wearing them themselves, but by the time ‘Her Indoors’ had finally got around to buying us one each, it was raining. Typical! However, ‘Her Indoors’ was glad to get a temporary break from lugging cans of water around the garden for the plants.

I don’t know why she’s complaining; it’s cheaper than the gym and at her age, is a good way of avoiding bingo wings, so she should be grateful.

Still, with the children heading back to school in their new winter uniforms, we’re bound to have another hot spell and we shall ensure we deploy ourselves strategically in the sun until we’re hot enough to fry an egg on, then retire to the shade, panting vigorously. I don’t know who halitosis is, but he seems to get a regular mention on such occasions and he doesn’t seem very popular. Still, you’ve got to make the most of it whilst you can, it’s a long time winter!